God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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