He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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