when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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