I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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