Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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