I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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