his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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