his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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