Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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