i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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