That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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