Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All the doctor said was why
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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