he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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