News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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