I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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