Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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