literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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