i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize