We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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