Pants 0. Shit 1.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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