and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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