first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize