Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
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dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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