i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
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just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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