I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize