she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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