Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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