would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize