my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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