Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i'm inner monologue high
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize