it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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