he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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