shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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