ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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