my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize