p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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