If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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