she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize