Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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