Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize