We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize