i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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