A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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