when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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