what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize