Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize