there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize