i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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