Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize