ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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