discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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