Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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