Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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